How to Dirty Talk and Still be Mindful

Talk dirty all you want but you must never degrade your partner in any way.


a woman making a "silence" gesture.
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash


In this #MeToo world, women are not afraid to say what they don’t like and they do not like it when you call them a slut or a whore during dirty talk. Some women might not be bothered with these words but it is always good not to use these words even if it’s just meant to add a little kink to the situation.


#MeToo is raising awareness among women and they are realising what’s wrong and where they should take a stand for themselves and that is why according to a recent poll 22% of the women thought of dirty talk during sex as more negatively. However, 92% of the women still love dirty talk during sex and as long as you are not being aggressive and choosing the right words in the dirty talk during sex, you and your partner will have a good time. This raises the question of how to dirty talk post the #MeToo movement?


If you are confused on how to dirty talk and still be respectful towards your partner then the following tips will help you a lot.


Converse first

Instead of starting dirty talk right away, converse about it first with your partner because it will help you get aware of each other preferences and it will make the whole situation less awkward. Keep the conversation casual and keep notes of their likes and dislikes about dirty talking during sex.


Some women might prefer sexting

Sexting is not a new concept, many women seems to prefer dirty talk during sexting instead of in real life so; find out if your partner likes to dirty talk during sexting or IRL. This will help a lot, trust me.


Don’t Rush

If you are having sex don’t just dive right into the dirty talk without giving your partner any clue or whatsoever. It will only make the whole situation weird and you might say things which your partner will not like. So, take it slow and always check up to see if your partner is actually enjoying the dirty talk or not. This way you will have better sex and your partner will even appreciate you for being mindful.


Do not get carried away

Just because you are enjoying it that does not mean your partner is enjoying it as well. Instead of getting aggressive, keep the tone light and playful because women do not enjoy it if they do not feel your warmth in your tone. If you feel like you got too aggressive then do not hesitate to say “Sorry, I got carried away” This will help lighten the situation and your partner will feel better too.


Adjectives which will help you out

If you are confused about what to say while during the dirty talk then just go along and use words such as: wet, hard, sexy and etc. You can even compliment your partner during dirty talk because it will give a boost to their self esteem and it will also; leave no room for you to offend them in any way.


Don’t boss around, unless she likes it

Do not try to be the boss of partner unless if that’s what she prefers in bed. Do not ever make her feel like she is getting pressured to do something she does not want to do. While dirty talking, do not use degrading words EVER. It’s wrong and women do not like it at all. As long as you are picking the right words and saying them in the correct tone, you will have a good time. Have kinky sex but be aware of your limits.


Bitch, Slut and Whore – A BIG NO.

Just do not call her a bitch, a slut or a whore. It’s better to avoid these words, even if your partner is okay with you using it in bed. Just like everything, every woman has their own preference when it comes to dirty talk but if you avoid it in general, it will be just so much better and it will really show that you respect women. It is an extremely important point to remember if you are taking notes on how to dirty talk.


Please, do not use the word Daddy.

The thing is not every woman likes to hear you tell her to call you daddy because it makes them feel submissive. It also makes them feel as if you are her superior when instead you both are equals. You must talk it out with your partner if they are okay with the word Daddy.


Make a little noise, no one is judging!

Just because you are dirty talking during sex that does not mean you cannot make any noise and that you have to keep talking! It will also help you to think of what next to say if you are loss for words in the moment.


Laugh away

There is no guarantee that your dirty talk will be perfect and there will no awkward moments but the key to still have a good time is by remembering that it’s fine to be awkward and you can just laugh it off with your partner about it. It will only help you two get more comfortable with each other. Don’t be embarrassed if your dirty talk is not as good as you hoped, own your awkward lines and laugh about it.


Discuss it later

In order to just check up if you and your partner are on the same page or not when it comes to dirty talking during sex, discuss about it. It’s up to you if you want to talk about it right away or later but do talk about it because it will only help you have more fun the next time you do it.


Own up to your mistakes

Sometimes you might say things you shouldn’t have while dirty talking during sex but if you apologise to your partner about it, it will make the situation better and it will show that you only said during the heat of the moment and you did not mean it. Lastly, communicate. Be open with each other about what you like and what you don’t like in bed. This will solve all your problems.